Quentin, Mike and Ajax's Teleporatic Adventure
by Spazz Cat and Animagess
Summary: Touching on important points of life, such as quantum entanglement and searching eBay, this story will... Uh... Do for you you what no other fanfic has done before (and for that you should be grateful)... Please review. Mindlessly.
1. Quentin, Mike and Ajax's Cyberatic Adven...

Spirited Away According to Ajax and Quentin  
  
Who is Ajax?  
  
Who is Quentin?  
  
Why won't their DVD player work?  
  
Well, to answer one of your questions (you figure out which one), Quentin's name is one half of quantum, for reasons we are not prepared to discuss with you yet.  
  
As for Ajax... Well, he was the test subject for a made-up language between two insanely stupid people. He was, in fact, one of those people, which might give you an idea of his intelligence.  
  
He is also a cleaning solution.  
  
And now, to answer your (or our) third question, we now bring you:  
  
Quentin and Ajax's Teleporatic Adventure!  
  
...  
  
...With their Spirited Away DVD.  
  
But FIRST....  
  
Quentin and Mike will babble to you about quantum entanglement, otherwise known as photon entanglement.  
  
"To start off," Quentin began, sitting on a couch as he usually did, his mohawk proudly glinting in the glow from the television screen, a symbol of his bizarre and questionable fashion sense, "a photon is a particle of light. A very small particle. In fact, a photon is to light what the Canadian penny is to Canadian currency." (Which is to say very small, for you people too obtuse to understand the sarcastic implications towards the value of our pathetic denominations of currency)  
  
"Now, occasionally, theeeeeeese phhhhoooooottooooons become 'eeeeeennnnntttttaaaaannnnnnggggllllllleddddddd'.........." Quentin continued, taking at least half a minute to say each word. Mike waited patiently, also sitting on a couch; the very same that Quentin was sitting on in fact, which is a very important element of the story if you were to consider the exact dimensions of the room and so forth.  
  
Then Mike interrupted, saying "But how do these two photons become entangled?" Quentin nodded wisely. "Well the truth is, Mike," Quentin started to explain, "we don't know how these two photons become entangled." Mike looked confused. "But-" Then Quentin cut in again. "The truth is that only the government knows how these two photons become entangled. That's the whole beauty of it..." He thought a moment.  
  
"So when these two photons," he continued, "which only the government knows how to entangle, become entangled...." He paused to let this thought sink into Mike's head, and then failed to finish his sentence.  
  
"Now, in order to give you (and the reader) a good visual representation of this concept, we shall now anthropomorphically personify these two photons; which means that we shall make them look like Pac-Men and call them Betty and Barney."  
  
Mike nodded slowly, trying to envisualize these two Pac-Man-ified photons and their personalities. "Soooo... This Betty and Barney couple... What relationship do they have? Is it a platonic one? Or are they romantically involved with each other in any way?"  
  
Quentin answered with "Well, that's one of the questions we're here to answer." Mike looked confused behind his Coke-bottle spectacles. "But I thought-" "And to do this," Quentin went on, triumphantly not getting up from the couch, "we must find these two photons and ask them ourselves!" He thought. "Or perhaps at least catch them in a compromising situation... IF ya know what I mean," he leered.  
  
Mike responded with respectful silence, in awe of Quentin's superior seedy calculations, a clause in which the term 'seedy' is not only used out of proper context, but the word 'calculations' is as well.  
  
"Where will we search first?" asked Mike.  
  
"E-BAY!!!!" screamed Ajax, popping out from in between the couch cushions, along with the remote control and a soggy popcorn kernel. Why it was soggy we will leave to your own sick little imagination.  
  
"Yes. eBay," uttered Quentin, nodding sagely.  
  
Ajax went into a room and dragged the computer-  
  
"Sleek sophisticated industrial laptop," put in Quentin.  
  
Ajax went into a room and dragged the sleek sophisticated industrial la-  
  
"Black," added Mike.  
  
Ajax went into a room and dragged the sleek sophisticated industrial black lapt-  
  
"He didn't DRAG it, he majestically and gracefully glided in with the sleek sophisticated industrial black laptop held aloft on a purple velvet cushion-" "With gold trim," said Mike. "-with gold trim," finished Quentin.  
  
Ajax majestically and gracefully glided in with the sleek sophisticated industrial black laptop held aloft on a purple velvet cushion with gold trim. He placed it tenderly on the coffee table that sat in front of the aforementioned couch, on which the aforementioned principal characters of the story sat.  
  
Quentin cracked his knuckles. "Alright. We now commence our startling and enlightening journey into the cybernetic world of eBay."  
  
At this point in the story, we must now interrupt to present to you:, even though you probably already know what the story is about (although if you do, we'd be mightily surprised and a bit scared, since we barely know what we're doing):  
  
Quentin, Ajax and Mike's Startling and Enlightening Journey into the Cybernetic World of eBay  
  
"Type in photon! Type in photon!" yelled Ajax, mindlessly.  
  
"Canada or worldwide?"  
  
"Is there an option for universe-wide?!" said Mike, helplessly floundering within the iron grip of vocabularic suspension.  
  
"Universal, Mike."  
  
"I am in awe of your superior... vocabluariciness ness thingy..."  
  
"Well, we'll just have to settle for whatever comes up from his planet," muttered Quentin, banging on the keyboard. "Which leaves us with..."  
  
The three stared at a long list containing such objects as 1 DOZEN MICRO LIGHTS 3 PHOTON COLOURS!! ($19.99 USD), Photon X-Light Rainbow Tri Colour Rav'N LED ($9.50 USD), HEAD squash racket (used) photon 220 XL ($5.50 USD), and Photon: The Idiot Adventure DVD new ($9.99 USD).  
  
"That one looks promising," said Mike immediately, pointing at the last item.  
  
Quentin clicked on it. They were instantly greeted by a picture of a pink-haired girl jumping on top of a creepy looking boy.  
  
"It's Betty and Barney," breathed Ajax, not knowing what he was talking about or why they were talking in hushed voices. Quentin clicked the BUY IT NOW option, and sat back on the couch, satisfied.  
  
"Okay, let's see what else is in the same category!" said Ajax brightly. Of course, whatever was coming out of his mouth had no connection whatsoever to his brain; it was in fact a random stream of babbling coming out of his mouth that coincidentally happened to sound like a coherent sentence. And, by the process of photon entanglement, which you would have learned about before had we felt like relating it to you which we didn't (and we do, in fact, know what it is, and how to relate it to you in a way that you would understand, but that is an infuriatingly tedious task which we may or may not decided to torture you with, which is another way of saying that it is a tale for other days), what came out of his mouth sounded suspiciously related to the activities and events that Quentin and Mike were currently engaged in.  
  
"I found something called the Spirited Away DVD," said Mike.  
  
"Okay I'll buy it," said Quentin, and did, not realizing that the two of them had just gotten over a major plot point in less than two seconds. And thus, we shall end this chapter on a cliff-hanger, or what would be a cliff-hanger if this were a more suspenseful tale, which it clearly isn't.  
  
In other words...  
  
To Be Continued (insert gape of horror). 


	2. The Chapter That Really Wasn't There

Spirited Away Chapter 2 (not really)  
  
1. This will get done.  
  
2. It will have something to do with Spirited Away (ahh! We promise!!)  
  
3. Please ignore the fact that we have not yet seen Spirited Away. This is a problem we intend to correct immediantly... Sort of.  
  
4. Also, please note we are total slackers.  
  
Thank you for your wasted time.  
  
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O_O  
  
~~~ 


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